My husband and I have been married for 7 months and about 3 months ago he left, over some jealousy issues and his family was encouraging the leave. I was helping my sister with the youth group at our church and some of the kids started texting me. The one that the problem was over was a 17 year old male. He said 鈥榣ove you鈥?a couple times, but in my church we say that. I鈥檓 not justifying it because it was wrong, but nothing to leave over. We were together for 5 years, before we got married. My husband left that day (in August). Right after the leave, he told me he wanted to work things out and get counseling. Then about two weeks later, he filed for divorce. He changed his phone number so for about a month, I couldn鈥檛 call him only email, but he would never respond. I called a couple times to his parent%26#039;s house for him and his father said %26quot;stop calling here, WE got rid of you%26quot;! By the way, since 8th grade and dated, his parents never liked me, and didn鈥檛 approve of us dating. Didn鈥檛 even approve of us getting married.
In October, his work moved him to Chicago for about a month, and before he left he came by, we looked through wedding and honeymoon pictures, we had sex, and he left. He stopped talking to me for about a month, while he was in Chicago. I drove up to Chicago to surprise him without him knowing, and he made me leave, and it was a 4 hour drive. He started saying things like I don鈥檛 love you anymore. I don鈥檛 miss you. We鈥檙e going through a divorce.
In November, all month, he was texting me, calling me, coming to our house, being a little more kind, and saying he鈥檚 contemplating things. He came by one night and said he misses me and wants to work things out. Then after working 3rd shift, he texts me and said that what he said was a mistake. But he kept texting me and coming home. Don鈥檛 get me wrong, it wasn鈥檛 for sex. We did have sex but not every time. He comes home after work from time to time and we talk. I ask him if he wants counseling and he says no, I ask him if he loves me and he says no. But he will never look me in the eye. One night he came over to stay the night, we watched a movie and went to sleep, and I asked him 鈥淒o you want out or you want out because it would be easier and he shook his head yes. He left at 5:30am because his parents were getting off a 6am and would know where he was at. But he breaks plans with me still, like stands me up. Its like he won鈥檛 come when I ask.
He asks me questions like why was I at the church when there wasn鈥檛 service, and why do you have people over at our house, etc.
In December, it鈥檚 gotten better. We鈥檙e talking more, he鈥檚 coming over more, and sometimes just stops by before work to talk. But he will talk to me, and then go a couple days without talking to me and won鈥檛 answer my calls. My lawyer called me asking what is going on, because there has been no word about the divorce at all. Like, he鈥檚 not pursuing it to his lawyer. Please help me figure out what is going on? What is he thinking and feeling?
Let me know if you have any questions about any detail?
Additional Details
Also, he made a facebook when he left and won%26#039;t add me. He told me Sunday night, that there is nothing to worry about. Also, about two months ago, I was checking his voicemail and there was a voicemail from his ex in high school Saying %26quot;If you don%26#039;t want to talk to me anymore just tell me%26quot;!!
No. He left her for me. Since that day, they never spoke. And that was 7 years ago. I have no idea how she got his number, probably from his parents.
His parents do not like his ex. They have never liked a single girl he dated. No one was good enough. He didn%26#039;t leave me for someone, if he did he would being too busy with them than for me.|||You need to give him an ultimatum...it is either you or his parents...I don%26#039;t mean his parents should be out of his life but they should not rule it either...you have to tell him if he cannot stand up to them and be with you (always not when he wants to) then he needs to stop coming over and calling you and follow through with the divorce.
Letting him come back when he wants to allows him to use you (I know it is easier said than done, when you love someone you want every minute you can get with them) it lets him have you and allows him to seemingly obey his parents. It cannot continue in that manner for long...
The fact is his parents are over protective of him to the point of destruction(i.e. your marriage) he has to let them know their place if he wants to have a relationship(marriage) with you.|||listen to Mariah Carey we belong together.|||you asked this question already!!!!!|||Not only have you asked this before, but I%26#039;m thinking the answer is still the same...... neither of you, hon, was really ready to make a commitment in a marriage. You%26#039;re both too young..... babies. You%26#039;re in an uphill battle if his parents don%26#039;t like you from day one, and these people will indeed be in your married life for the rest of it. Surely, sweetie, you are worth more that this crap. Surely.|||aww sweetie, dont put up with this anymore! put your foot down. This guy sounds like the biggest jerk. A 17 year old guy texting you? you didnt do anything wrong! This %26quot;man%26quot; sounds very selfish and he probaly thinks he made a big mistake. I wouldnt try to make this marriage work. I know it hurts but you must realize that you deserve so much better. You drove to see him and he kicked you out? that is just so wrong and you dont do that to someone you love. I dont want to hurt you anymore but it sounds like he doesnt love you. In this case, stop trying to fight for this because obviously he%26#039;s not fighting for you or this marriage. He isnt worth it, please do yourself a big favor and leave this loser for good. I promise you that there is better.|||He%26#039;s finished with you but likes to get laid now and then and you%26#039;re an easy mark. He%26#039;s taken you from wife to unpaid whore. If you%26#039;re okay with that, fine. If not, you need to cease all forms of contact with him and get on with your life. Maybe a real man will come into it someday.|||WOW you are very naieve and young. You need to get on with your life and leave him behind. You%26#039;re not living you are existing in a world of hope....he made his choice and uses you to HIS liking. Are you that worthless to let someone take advantage of you in that way. Love isn%26#039;t like this and when someone truly loves you, you will think back to this and think my gosh what the he l l was I thinking. Move on hon, and don%26#039;t even think about looking back, you DESERVE so very much more...really!!! good Luck
